Brothel Meme: Part 3

[notaturnip]

The first day of the tournament dawns bright and clear in Lanling - there's a chill in the air that speaks of the coming winter, but the sky is clear and the sun is bright and the day promises to warm long before any of the events actually start. It's an auspicious morning.

Officially, the tournament is being hosted by four clans - Jin, Jiang, Nie and Ouyang - but everybody knows this is Jin Ling's time to shine. This is the young clan leader's first official public appearance since the attempt on his life, and though his people have seen him several times, rumours have been rife amongst the cultivation community - the tournament is to be well attended, the visitors all expecting to confirm the rumours or dispel them.

There's talk, too, that Jiang Cheng's involvement in the planning is largely to try and repair his own damaged reputation, and Ouyang are there to strengthen their own ties with the Jin clan rather than improve their shaky relationship with the Jiang. Nobody's quite sure why the Nie clan are involved at all, though recently a few more rumours have surfaced about recent 'planning' trips to Lotus Pier...

In short, the gossip is everywhere and everybody who is anybody wants to be there to find out the truth.

It's the grandest tournament to have been held in quite some time - days of feasting and competition intended to bestow glory and accolades upon the greatest cultivators in the land. The Lan clan are not known, of course, to seek such things, but they similarly would not shy away from the chance to prove their worth and put their students to the test.

There are yet more rumours that Lan Xichen himself will be attending - it is known that the clan leader has come out of his seclusion, but he hasn't yet left Cloud Recesses, could this be his first public appearance as well? Not to mention the talk of Hanguang Jun's long lost son...

Those wishing to gawk, however, should have gotten up early, for the Lan delegation is one of the first to arrive. Xichen is indeed there, along with the chief cultivator and, of course, the incorrigible Wei Wuxian, and they climb the steps of Lanling followed by a column of young men, clad in pristine white and walking two by two in perfect step.

And at the head of that column, walking beside his sworn brother, is a young man whose serene expression perfectly hides the turmoil in his heart, and he can't help but be reminded that the last time he was here everything was different.

Comments

[young_mistress]

Jiang Cheng's gaze slips repeatedly to the man next to him after his nephew's welcome. He remembers the thrill of laying him down on a table like this in middle of his own hall. As drunk as he was, he remembers all the details (or most of them) of that incredible fuck. It was far and above one of his favorites, though the more romantic times certainly were wonderful in their own right.

His eyes trace Huaisang's face and wonders if he doesn't catch a hint of the perfume he gave the other man. The lotus cuff was proudly displayed on his wrist like it had since he'd received it. Perhaps while everyone else is busy with some of the festivities he could purchase something for Huaisang to wear underneath his clothes.. just for Cheng. He needs to ask once again if Huaisang is sure they can't go ahead and announce their courtship. How long must he wait before he can declare that man his?

~~~

Jingyi had intended on returning to the conversation about their courtship, but Zizhen had been too sweet to resist. Instead, he had gotten caught up in kissing him.

Liling comes across the couple and has to hide her smile behind her hand for a moment before she can interrupt them. "Lan-gongzi, Ouyang-gongzi, I'm sorry to intrude," she begins. "Your absence has been noticed and Jin-zongzhu believes it's best if you return to the banquet. Food will be served soon."

Jingyi startles when he hears her voice but continues to cling to Zizhen. He pouts when he hears they're supposed to head back. "But.. but.." He can't think of a good excuse to disobey though. He sighs and looks at his love. "It seemed like we were only gone for a minute!"

~~~

It's not easy maintaining his cool exterior while his heart is in pieces. Before long, he lowers his hand and Fairy seems to just appear out of nowhere at his side (fortunately the opposite one to the Lans). She sits quietly with him, letting his fingers stroke through her fur. Jin Ling sets his scepter against the side of his chair so he has a free hand.

As one might expect, his attention is repeatedly called for among the guests present. Some of it is kiss-ass remarks like clan leader Yao would say but some are friendly comments or questions about the tournament. All he wants though is to retreat back to his rooms and think about the boy he so reluctantly let go. Does Yuan blame him for that? Resent him even? Surely, he doesn't regret it, does he?

[notaturnip]

Zizhen pouts as well, but he makes sure Liling can tell it's just playfulness and that he isn't actually upset with her - she is, he thinks, the very best person in all of Lanling, and he suspects Jin Ling would agree with him.

"We will have more time later, my love." He promises Jingyi, giving him a soft kiss - a chaste peck on the cheek, in deference to Liling's presence. "Let's go back inside. I'm sure you're hungry, and I made sure Jin Ling had your favourite chicken wings put on the menu." He adds encouragingly, taking Jingyi's hand and lacing their fingers together before starting back towards the hall.

~~~

Huaisang is trying to behave, but every time he feels Cheng's eyes on him a thrill of delight runs through him, and on several occasions he's unable to keep from meeting that gaze. He's so very glad he talked Jin Ling into arranging this opening ceremony to be the only thing happening today - the banquet would last a while, yes, they always did, but at least they would be left with a decent part of the evening, maybe even some of the afternoon, for "settling in" - which, for him, is very much code for "letting his disciples and servants deal with his rooms while he disappears to Cheng's bed".

He makes significant use of his fan to cover his mouth so nobody can tell just from watching him how often he makes sarcastic comments about something Yao or Ouyang says, just loud enough for Cheng to hear, and maybe one or two of his disciples, but nobody else.

When Zizhen and Jingyi slip back in, shortly before the food is served, he laughs to himself behind it. Oh how he wishes he could slip away from the banquet, even just for a few minutes...

~~~

When Jingyi does return, Yuan feels overwhelmingly glad - it's easier to distract himself with his brother at his side, and he's quick to ask what happened with Zizhen, hoping that the tale will be enough to occupy him until the banquet is over. It's harder now, though, with people calling upon Jin Ling, with the way his voice carries across the room, impossible for Yuan to ignore.

[young_mistress]

"Ooh!" Jingyi responds excitedly to hearing about the food. When they enter the hall, he's looking up at the other boy with little hearts in his eyes. He is so in love with Zizhen it hurts!

Lan Zhan sees the two of them and inwardly smiles. He couldn't encourage this behavior, but he does find it sweet. He's glad Jingyi has found his fated one. He wishes Yuan would too.. only.. someone who isn't Jin Ling (not that he'd ever say that to his son- Wuxian was fair game!)

Reluctantly Jingyi lets go of Zizhen's hand when reach their table, but he smiles seeing Yuan.

"It was lovely! He knows the gardens better than I realized he did and we found this spot over by a pond.. *sigh* it was so romantic! He said he's been talking to his father about me!" He pauses, realizing then that he never got the rest of the story on their courtship. "Um.. he was going to tell me more later."

He glances up at Jin Ling and back. "Are you okay?"

~~~

Cheng finds Huaisang's commentary hilarious though his reaction to it is carefully mild. He feels a little bad for Wuxian sitting so far away. He knows his brother would love to hear these irreverent jokes. Personally, he especially delights in any that are negative toward the Ouyang clan leader.

Eventually, he leans over and says, "I don't know what it's about, but Lady Ouyang has requested I speak with her later tonight. Why can't those people leave me alone?"

[notaturnip]

Zizhen's gaze is just as adoring, and he practically floats back to his seat once he has reluctantly parted from Jingyi. He thanks Liling for coming to get them - even though a tiny part of him wishes she hadn't, he doesn't want to give his parents any reason to be unhappy with his propose courtship, and he does want to be here for Jin Ling.

Yuan listens to Jingyi's tale with a soft smile, carefully burying his own hurt beneath pure happiness for his brother - they really are very sweet for each other, and he's glad that Zizhen's absence doesn't seem to have been caused by any regret or waning of his feelings - quite the opposite, it seems.

"That's wonderful." he says genuinely, encouragingly.

He knew the question was coming, so it's easy enough for him to nod and smile.

"I'm fine." He says calmly - it's not strictly true, but he doesn't want to ruin his brother's happiness and he doesn't want to make things harder on himself right now. He'll tell Jingyi everything later - preferably when Jiang Cheng is nowhere nearby, nor anybody else for that matter - but for now he wants to let the other boy have his moment.

~~~

Huaisang frowns thoughtfully - it's rare for there to be obvious gossip that he doesn't already know about, so the Ouyang clan must be keeping whatever this is about tightly under wraps.

"I wonder what it could be, coming from Lady Ouyang of all people..." strange enough that she was here at all, she didn't often attend this sort of thing. Perhaps this mysterious talk was why... "Would you like me to see what I can find out?"

He suspects Zizhen would have given them a warning if he already knew, but Huaisang is on good enough terms with the boy to ask - he's getting quite good at obtaining information, he's even starting building his own burgeoning little spy network, a fact that Huaisang was delighted to learn. In a few more years, when he takes over from his father, he's going to be one to watch - Ouyang's association with the Jin clan may have, like the Yao's, started to wane a little since Jin ling took power, but it seems inclined to come back even stronger than before. Between that and their connection with the Lans, he wonders if the assorted clan elders have noticed the formidable power block on the horizon.

[young_mistress]

He recognizes the answer for what it was. His brother was sweet and could be very subtle, but Jingyi has gotten quite good at reading him like he has his mentor, Lan Wangji, over the last couple months. He knows whenever Sizhui can, he defaults to whatever the politest thing to say is. It's shocking how 'Lan' his brother is, considering his background.

Jingyi throws an arm around Sizhui's shoulders and gives him a side hug. "Don't worry! Everything will work out just fine!" He leans in and whispers, "A-Zhen and I have a plan! But till then, how about this food? Doesn't it look incredible! I could sneak you a little bit of the liquor if you'd like. I'm sure A-Zhen won't mind sharing."

~~~

Jiang Cheng bows his head appreciatively at his secret soulmate. "I'd be grateful. Although we don't have much time. She and I have planned to rendezvous for tea after the opening ceremony tomorrow." His lip curls just a little. "I figured I'd have other 'duties' to attend to tonight and tomorrow morning." He also didn't mind making her wait. This was truly an imposition, after all.

"By the way, I heard Jin Ling raise his voice right as you were coming in. Is there a problem I should follow up with?"

[notaturnip]

Sometimes, privately, Yuan finds it somewhat entertaining that the manners he is taught in Cloud Recesses are often so similar to those he was taught in a brothel - though, of course, he would never dare say that out loud. Even if sometimes, just sometimes, he desperately desires to watch one of the stuffy elder Lan's faces when he tells them (usually when they decide to say something disparaging about Jingyi's supposedly un-Lan-like qualities).

He smiles fondly at Jingyi's exuberance, leaning into the embrace and nodding his agreement that the food does, indeed, look incredible. After a moment's thought, he demures the offer of liquor - he'd rather keep a clear head.

The food turns out to be as good as it looks, and the rest of the banquet passes relatively uneventfully - Zizhen's father and sect leader Yao both take the opportunity to be windbags and make everything drag on, but it's not too long before servants are arriving to show people to the rooms that have been set up for them.

~~~

"It'll be enough time for me to find something out, I'm sure." Even if it's just a hint, anything to avoid his beloved going into the meeting blind. Of course, in order to do that Jiang Cheng's going to have to let him out of his bed at least briefly, and something about that other duties comment suggested he might not. Huaisang isn't complaining, of course, he'll work with the time he has.

"Mmm, it's nothing, somebody questioning his choices is all. He put a stop to it quite firmly, as one should when questioned in public, and I'm sure he's learned enough by now to take a moment to ensure his decision is understood. He's getting good at this."

Cheng worries too much, in Huaisang's opinion. He understands it, of course he does, but he's taught Jin Ling well, he's perfectly capable. At least, he is now that he knows (Huaisang hopes) that he doesn't have to keep trying to be perfectly capable on his own. A lesson somebody else is hopefully in the process of learning as well.

For the rest of the dinner, Huaisang slips back into his running commentary, in between enjoying the delicious meal and a few cups of wine - he doesn't mind not having a clear head at all.

[young_mistress]

It's a long afternoon, but Jin Ling's energy improves greatly once the heat has worked it's magic on his muscles. The few times he had to get up to address one issue or another, it was much smoother than when he walked up the stairs to his table. Luckily, all of that is past tense as the number of guests retiring to their rooms increases. He dutifully bids them goodnight and encourages them to let his servants know if they need anything else.

As he rises to leave, he pauses in the doorway to look back at Zizhen. His gaze lingers long enough to catch his friend's eye and he silently lifts a bottle of liquor with a smirk. He hopes Zizhen isn't too drunk to catch the invitation and he turns to head back to his rooms.

Once there, he tosses a treat to Fairy for her help in keeping him grounded during the whole ordeal. He settles at his kneeling table awaiting his friend, his dog pressed up against his side quietly munching on a bone.

His thoughts inevitably turn back to Yuan. Finally alone, he can let his expression reflect what he's really feeling- which is pain and longing for the other boy. He misses how easy Yuan was to talk to and how nice it was to have someone support him so fiercely.

He thinks about the robe Yuan wore when they first met, still hanging in one of his closets. He doubts he'll ever show anyone that robe, least of all Yuan, but it meant something to him. He'd pay a fortune just to see Yuan in it one more time.. even if he feels guilty for that thought too. Whoever the sweet young man was now, he wasn't a whore anymore and should never be reminded of that time.

He wishes he hadn't forced Yuan to remember him either, but it hadn't been his choice. He couldn't have asked the Lans not to bring him. Not only would that be incredibly rude and hurtful to Yuan, but his own heart never would've allowed it. As selfish as it was, he'd wanted to see Yuan again. Now that he had though, he's less confident it was such a good idea. How was he going to get through this event with the boy who owned his heart so close and forever out of reach?

~~~

As Jiang Cheng leads Huaisang to his suite, he misses seeing his brother in the hall. He barely gets the door open before he's kissing the smaller man and scooping him up in his arms.

[notaturnip]

Zizhen just grins at Jin Ling, waiting a moment until nobody else is paying attention so he can lean over to Jingyi.

"Jin Ling just invited me to go meet him, you should come too. You should both come." He whispers - and he hasn't actually had that much to drink, so he's sober enough that it is a whisper. He doesn't know if the Lans will be 'allowed' to come, so he wants to keep it subtle to give them a chance to slip away rather than officially being forbidden.

His father calls him then, and he glances over his shoulder regretfully - he knows it won't be difficult for him to slip away (or make his excuses), but if he keeps his parents waiting now they're going to be in a bad mood, so he gives Jingyi a longing glance and steps away.

"His rooms. As soon as you can." he says quietly just before he goes, then trails after his parents and out to their guest rooms.

It isn't very long after Ling arrives that Zizhen slips into the room - not bothering to knock, there's no point standing on ceremony these days. They're closer now, after last time, even without him being able to visit in the intervening months.

He takes one look at his friend's face and wonders if he should have called for more liquor. He also wonders if he should have invited the others after all, but that thought gets dismissed immediately - of course he should have.

"Want to talk about it?" He offers, since they aren't here yet, crossing to sit at the table with him.

~~~

Huaisang laughs against his lips as he's scooped up, flinging his arms around Cheng's shoulders and kissing him back passionately. It hasn't even been that long since they saw each other last, but it still feels like too long.

Meanwhile, Wuxian is wondering if he should go and find Cheng once they're settled in their rooms - he did offer a drink, after all.

[young_mistress]

"He did?" Jingyi asks mystified. Do they have some kind of technique that can send messages without a word? He looks around but only sees Jin Ling disappearing through a doorway. He nods eagerly. They'll definitely come! He doesn't bother asking Sizhui if he wants to come- they're going!

His smile vanishes though when Zizhen's parents call to him. He worries this means the plan is off, but the extra encouragement is enough for him. "Come on, gege! Let's go freshen up first. Hanguang Jun? May we go back to our room please?"

Lan Zhan looks back at them- like he hadn't already heard everything- and nods. To Jingyi's dismay though, the older man gets up and looks at them expectantly. Oh.. was Hanguang Jun coming too? Awkward.

~~~

Jiang Cheng carefully brings Huaisang to the bed and slips his hand under his robe. His eyebrows rise when he feels skin above his boots. He keeps sliding his hand upward and still only feels hot, silky skin. This is the hottest thing he's ever witnessed! Drawing back, he stares down at his lover with smoldering eyes. "You obeyed? With everyone.. gods A-Sang! I'd marry you right this second if I could!"

He quickly pushes back the black and gold robes, almost frantic to get to his lovers body underneath. Neither of them were sleeping tonight!

~~~

Ling looks up startled when he hears Zizhen's voice. He smiles ruefully at his friend and picks up the liquor bottle and a glass to pour him a drink. "I'm sure you can guess.." He replies. "It's been quite a while since I've seen him. I wasn't even sure if he'd come at all."

He lifts his own cup in a quiet toast and drinks it. "What am I supposed to say to him?"

[notaturnip]

Yuan just looks slightly panicked, in truth - he's trying his best to hide it but the fear and anticipation are at war within him.

Wuxian looks between his husband and their son (sons, really, since they've basically adopted Jingyi at this point, and they're certainly more present than the boy's actual parents) and contemplates, for a moment, the best course of action. Jingyi is not terribly subtle and his concern is obvious, especially if you know what to look for, so it's a decision between whether he takes pity on Yuan - who at the very least doesn't think he's ready for this - or on Jingyi.

"Lan Zhan," he drawls his husband's name, draping himself across his shoulders "Will you come find Jiang Cheng with me? He promised a drink."

See the things he does for you boys? He's going to put Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng in the same room, just for you!

Of course, he's leaving the decision in Lan Zhan's hands - the invitation is a subtle hint to perhaps leave the boys to it, but it's open enough that he can refuse or defer in case he already had something else in mind.

~~~

Huaisang leans back far enough to watch Cheng's face as that hand dips beneath his robes. He revels in the feel of his lover's calloused palm running over his bare skin, but he particularly revels in that expression in his eyes when he realises that Huaisang just spent the entire banquet sitting beside him with no underwear.

"But of course, my love..." he replies innocently, though wicked delight sparkles in his eyes "why wouldn't I obey?"

He laughs at Cheng's eagerness, moving to help remove his belt to make things a little easier. The sheer desire still makes him giddy.

"Soon." he adds, because he can barely stand to wait any longer himself "I think we can perhaps get away with revealing our relationship at some point this week, or shortly after."

Long enough has passed that it's not too untoward - and perhaps it will convince the Ouyang clan to finally back off.

~~~

Zizhen toasts him silently, listening as he sips at his own cup.

"I still love you, will you marry me?" he suggests - perhaps a touch more flippantly than he would if totally sober, but he still means it - Ling is still in love with Yuan, it's obvious, so why waste time now that they have the chance at happiness they were denied before?

Besides, it's probably a good idea that Ling lays his claim now - Sizhui is the perfect young master in his Lan robes, and more than one young woman (or man) had taken notice of him as he sat at the banquet. Word had spread beyond Cloud Recesses that Zewu Jun had a new heir, and all it took was a passing familiarity with the usual disciples who attended these events to spot the newcomer amongst them. Once he was properly introduced and people knew he was the heir? Was Hanguang Jun's son? They'd be falling over themselves to court him.

That, however, is not something that Zizhen is going to bring up right now. Maybe later, if he needs to force Jin Ling's hand.

"Seriously, though," he says, softening slightly "I don't think it's so much important what you say to him, it's important that you talk at all. You'll never work this out if you don't say a word."

[young_mistress]

Lan Zhan frowns at his husband's suggestion. It wasn't really because he has an issue with leaving the boys alone for their socializing. He just doesn't want anything to do with Cheng! However, before he says that, he spies Jingyi looking at him with pleading eyes. He sighs and finally nods.

Reaching out, he places a hand on Yuan's arm. He hopes his nervousness will be soothed soon. "Watch over your gege," he tells Jingyi. The young man nods, taking the responsibility seriously.

"I will! I promise!" Jingyi smiles at Yuan. Wait.. did this mean Lan Zhan knows what they're doing besides going back to their room? He isn't sure, but he snatches Yuan's hand and tugs on it to hurry them out of there.

As they leave, Lan Zhan's attention slips back to his husband. "Will you speak to Jiang-zongzhu about his rude behavior earlier?"

~~~

He shrugs out of his robes and lets the silk fall, slipping off the side of the bed. His arms wrap possessively around the Nie clan leader's torso. Rolling him onto his back, he presses his hips in between Huaisang's knees.

"It must be this week!" Cheng declares as he kisses down Huaisang's neck. "I can't wait a moment longer."

Every time they part it feels like a part of his soul goes as well. There's an empty, cold place where it used to be and it never feels right until they're reunited. He needed Huaisang with him always and have some assurance that he won't be one more person to abandon him.

~~~

Jin Ling chokes on the liquor and laughs. He's missed Zizhen!

"You're crazy! There's no way he'd want that now." If he did, wouldn't he have found a way to tell Jin Ling more? Wouldn't he have said something.. well, maybe he couldn't have during the banquet, but he could've done something. A note? A furtive look? Something subtle and maybe sent through Zizhen himself. If Yuan had wanted to reach out to him, he would've.

"I'm part of the life he left behind."

He'd murder anyone who tried to court him though..

"I won't be able to win any of the tournaments for him." He still might try with his sword or the hunting, but the area he'd been most talented he was most weak. "It'll never be safe for him to be with me either."

[notaturnip]

Wuxian bites back his laughter - it's easier when he looks at Yuan, his expression softening into something warm and reassuring. Yuan gives them both a hesitant, grateful smile. At least he knows he has them, no matter what - it's scary, sometimes, the sheer depth of their love and acceptance, but it's encouraging too.

He allows himself to be tugged away, though the urge to drag his feet is strong - the closer they get to actually seeing Jin Ling in a semi-private setting, the more nervous he feels.

Wuxian drags his gaze away from the retreating boys and nods firmly, leaning in to give his husband a kiss - propriety be damned, it's not like there's really anyone still here anyway.

"I will, don't you worry. You also don't actually have to come with me."

~~~

Huaisang drops his head back, moaning slightly at the press of hips and Cheng's lips on his skin - he doesn't think he'll ever not adore this. His every touch feels like fire in the best way - is it love, that makes it burn so strongly? Is he simply particularly skilled? Huaisang truthfully doesn't know, but he never wants it to stop.

He laughs breathlessly at the declaration, fingers winding into Cheng's hair.

"This week, my wolf, I swear it."

~~~

Zizhen raises an incredulous eyebrow - Jin Ling may have only had fleeting glances with Yuan, but Zizhen could see both of them every time they looked at one another, and there was nothing, nothing about Yuan's expression that indicated his feelings had in any way changed.

Not to mention the way that Jingyi had spoken suggested they hadn't, as well.

"You're not! You're the thing that brought him to the life he was supposed to live! Not thing, person, you know what I mean!" He declares dramatically "And he's hardly the type to care about winning tournaments, or safety for that matter, the only reason he left was because he was convinced it was safer for you, and if you're both going to hurt yourselves just trying to keep each other safe well then.. that's... that's stupid because you're safer together! Looking out for each other!"

He flounders for a moment, trying to find the way to express what he's feeling, the certainty he has in his bones.

"It has to be the two of you! That's how the story is supposed to go!"

[young_mistress]

"I know he's not- though he should-, but I can't start courting someone without a show the community. This isn't just about him it's about respecting his clan and showing the value of the Jin clan. There has to be gifts presented to his family.. all that." He sighs, wishing it was easier. There had been something very nice about having complete control in the situation when Yuan first arrived. Neither of them had anyone else they had to answer to and could work out what they wanted between each other. Now with clans and family and society, everyone would be watching like they always are.

He doesn't love being told it's stupid for them not to get together, but Zizhen certainly had a point too. "I couldn't keep you safe," he points out. "That's why you haven't been allowed back, isn't it? Your father has been keeping you home because of what happened to you while you were here with me."

As he listens about how the 'story' is supposed to go, he frowns. "What are you talking about? What story?"

~~~

Lan Zhan's head spins just a little at the kiss. He doesn't bother even looking around afterward to see who witnessed it. He was with his spouse and he really didn't care. His lips curl upward when he's told he doesn't really have to join Wuxian to see his brother.

"I should make sure Xichen is alright," he says quietly. However, he leans in and gives Wei Ying one more small kiss before stepping away. "You won't be too late?"

~~~

Jingyi wastes no time getting them back to their room and over to the basin to wash their face and hands. "Do you want to change into clean robes?" He offers. The silk wasn't dusty or anything but they'd traveled quite a bit that day. "Are you excited gege? We're finally going to get to see him!"

He points at the ring hidden under Sizhui's robe. "Are you going to put that on where he can see it?"

[notaturnip]

Zizhen would like to point out Jin Ling's own uncle, who hadn't been letting any of that stuff stop him from going for what he wants, but he also doesn't think Jin Ling would accept the 'just do it in secret until you can do it properly' answer - and, truthfully, he'd probably also agree that Yuan kind of deserves to be courted properly.

Before he can decide exactly how to handle that, though, Ling is making an unfortunately accurate point, and he winces slightly.

"Sort of...." he admits "but it's also just about the attempts in general, he just got super paranoid that's all! And it wasn't your job to keep me safe! I knew somebody was out to get you and we could only be sure something was safe if Liling brought it, that wasn't your fault at all! And! And! You did keep me safe because who had the antidote ready, huh? You saved my life."

It's a semi-familiar argument at this point, though the phrasing of it is slightly different every time, but Zizhen will argue until he's blue in the face that Ling saved him that night, rather than being the one to put him in danger.

His righteous indignation deflates, however, at the question about the story and he suddenly looks even more embarrassed.

"Just..you know... if..." he trails off awkwardly, and then stares down at the table, not quite able to meet Ling's eyes as he continues "if this was a novel that's how it would end..."

Look, fine, he reads too many novels okay? But sometimes real life gets to be like the stories, doesn't it?

~~~

Wuxian nods, accepting the excuse easily - this is Xichen's first big event since coming out of seclusion, after all, and being back here in Lanling is probably not easy. It would be good to check in on him and make sure he isn't just moping by himself.

"Tell him I hope he's alright, too." He says - he does genuinely care about his brother-in-law after all "I promise I won't be too late."

~~~

"Yes, we should change..." he decides. It's appropriate, and proper, and falling into those now-familiar rules is strangely comforting, a way to ground the nervous energy that's threatening to overtake him.

Besides, changing his robes gives him an excuse to not quite look at his sworn brother when he asks if he's excited - he is, he thinks, at least a part of him is, he's been longing for this moment for so long he can hardly believe it's actually here, but he's also terrified.

"I'm..." he trails off, uncertain - not quite gathering his thoughts to give them voice when the follow up question is asked, and his hand automatically strays to where the ring lays against his chest. He thinks about it for a moment, and shakes his head.

"I don't... I don't want to make him uncomfortable, if... if things have changed he may not like that I still wear it..." he might ask for it back.

Yuan knows, of course, that he would hand over in a heartbeat if that's what Jin Ling wanted, but he can't deny it would be the final blow to his already battered heart.

[young_mistress]

It was that very uncle Jin Ling is particularly worried about. He knows it's not Yuan's fault but his own for the rift between the two. However, convincing Jiang Cheng to forgive someone is a very difficult task. Logically, he knows his uncle is wrong and the reason for his bull-headedness is because he's overly protective and has had to work hard to rebuild his own reputation. Jin Ling just wishes whenever he spoke of Yuan it didn't immediately bring up those memories for his jiujiu.

He listens to Zizhen, noting where he seems to have deflated. He relents and gives his friend a smile. "I've missed you and your obnoxious optimism, Zizhen-xiong. It's your best and worst quality," he teases. He doesn't really believe that. He sees Zizhen's perspective refreshing and it has kept him from falling into depression a number of times since his attack.

As he chuckles, he rolls his shoulder to ease some of the dull ache there. "Anyway, what about you? Are you going to dedicate any wins to Jingyi?"

~~~

It's hard to know how to support his brother properly when this situation was so unique. He wants to be there for Yuan and he wants to help however he can. He just.. wasn't sure what that was. As he gets out fresh robes for them and lays them out on their bed, he thinks about their options.

He's reminded about what Zizhen said in the garden about what he hadn't been able to share before. He'd said he'd kept it to himself to keep Yuan from worrying. Should Jingyi do the same now? Was there already enough pressure not to add that to the mix or would it help?

"Um.. gege? I uh.. I don't think he's changed his mind. I think there's just been a lot of other things going on and you know he's been trying to keep you safe by not involving you. I think.. maybe.. maybe we should've written to him before." Maybe. He knows he should've at least.

[notaturnip]

Zizhen just grins at him, unashamedly - this is one of the many reasons he adores his friends, the reason that Jin Ling has his loyalty even at his grumpiest, because he appreciates those parts Zizhen that other people seem to find annoying or tiresome. When he calls Zizhen obnoxious, or the worst, he knows he doesn't really mean it, and that more often than not it actually means the opposite.

"I've missed you too, Jin Ling." He says back genuinely, though his eyes stray to his shoulder and he really wants to ask if the recovery really is going that well and- he's very neatly distracted by the question.

"I'm hoping to win the poetry contest." he confides "I mean, of course, I'm going to try and win some of the martial competitions and all my wins will be dedicated to him but... the poem is special."

~~~

Yuan doesn't know whether to allow the hope or to try and stop it, to keep himself from disappointment. Hope is something he's gotten used to, in these past few months, one of many things he never would have dared to allow himself before. Now he's not so sure his old ways weren't safer, in some things.

"...Maybe..." he says softly. He does feel guilty for not writing - at first it was about giving Jin Ling his space, not giving anybody any ammunition against him, and then the ill-fated night hunt and his recovery... he'd been hoping to hear from Jin Ling, but by the time he was really properly aware and consistently conscious enough there was nothing, and by then it had started to feel too long, too strange to write after all that time... Now he's wondering if this whole thing would have been easier if he'd just done it.

He hesitates, then carefully tucks the ring away and finishes dressing. He doesn't know if Jingyi is right or not, but he's at least resolved - the only way he's going to find out is by going.

"Alright, I'm ready."

[young_mistress]

Ling's eyes soften as he hears Zizhen has something special in mind. He is excited for his friend. There would be a wedding soon from at least one of the important people in his life. "Would you feel best to go first or last or somewhere in the middle? I might have some influence over the order." It's a joke, since he suspects Huaisang is a romantic too. It would take no effort at all to support this poem, which is bound to be some sappy love confession.

He wants to ask more, but he freezes and looks up toward his door. Quiet footsteps approach and Fairy's head perks up. She wags her tail though and gets up to greet whoever it is, cluing Ling in that this is a friend the dog knows. He can't decide whether he should stand or if he should remain seated. He's too excited and petrified to make any move, so it's irrelevant.

Could it be? He prays to the gods that the face he sees next is the one that's been branded on his heart.

~~~

"You look lovely as always," Jingyi assures Yuan adoringly. He steps forward and presses the lightest, blind-and-you'll-miss-it kiss on his cheek. As much as he's anxious to see Zizhen again.. and possibly sneak off for more kisses, he knows what this meeting is truly about.

He takes his brother's hand and slips out into the hall. He makes one wrong turn before having to ask a servant which way to Jin Ling's rooms. Eventually though, they're walking up the stairs with the pretty courtyard around them and the scent of fall chrysanthemums heavy in the air. It's a pity they weren't there during peony season, but maybe next spring they could come back! Either way, the garden is full of other gorgeous plants- not that either of them are really noticing them right now.

Jingyi pauses as they reach the door and looks back at Yuan. He gives him an encouraging smile before pushing the door open, not bothering to knock. Fairy is the first to greet them and she gives a friendly little 'arf' before dancing about to get pets from her master's friends. However, instead of being focused on Jingyi, who she knows better, she focuses on Yuan. Master's mate is back!

[notaturnip]

"Well, I was thinking-" Zizhen starts, but he sees the way Ling freezes and he trails off, glancing to Fairy and then the door - he's surprised he doesn't hear Jingyi's voice, but he can't help the way his heart skips a beat knowing that his beloved might be on the other side of the door.

As much as he knows the moment is for Ling and Yuan, he only has eyes for Jingyi as the two enter - it's barely been half an hour since they parted, and yet he still missed him. He can't wait until the day that half an hour is the longest they ever have to be apart.

(Yes okay he knows that's probably unrealistic)

He doesn't speak, though, not wanting to ruin the moment, instead he just smiles brightly at the other boy.

Yuan finds his attention captured by Fairy almost instantly - it's easier, and gives him a moment to try and push down that fear, so he crouches to give her some affection - she's such a sweet, loyal creature and he honestly adores her, it's good to see her again.

She doesn't take his attention for too long, though, it's only a few moments before he's straightening up again, one hand unconsciously still buried in Fairy's fur almost for reassurance, and finally lifting his gaze to Jin Ling.

This is it, the moment they actually get a chance to speak again, without... well, with an audience, but only of their closest friends, and yet all of a sudden Yuan feels his mouth go dry. He wets his lips nervously, opening his mouth to speak and then closing it again, helplessly.

Zizhen would normally be the one to help in these situations, but he's too busy being smitten.

[young_mistress]

Jingyi almost looks offended that Yuan is getting all of Fairy's attention until his gaze lifts to meet Zizhen's. The dog is forgotten and he stares at the beautiful boy looking back at him. How could anyone look so handsome and pretty all at once? Slowly he remembers the reason he's here and looks to his brother- with difficulty.

Jin Ling stares. Yuan looks even lovelier than he had earlier for some reason. Of all ways to endear the young sect leader to him, Yuan picks being sweet to his dog. It reminds Ling instantly of the few times he'd seen the two together and Yuan had always treated his dear animal with such respect and affection. He also remembers when they'd kissed on the sofa and Fairy had scared him by sniffing at his feet.

He struggles to find words either but his eyes slip down the beautiful boy's form. They reach Yuan's hands and linger. Oh.. Yuan isn't wearing it. His mother's ring was no where to be seen. His heart sinks and he glances away as he feels hurt. Obviously, it wouldn't still mean anything to Yuan. That had been a long time ago and he'd clearly given it away or put it in a drawer to be forgotten- something where he wouldn't have to be bothered with it anymore.

He summons his very best neutral expression and bows to his guests. "Lan Jingyi, Lan Yuan, please join us. We were just discussing the tournament tomorrow. I have liquor out but I can make tea if you'd prefer." He might as well be addressing any of the Lan disciples he might happen to know the name of rather than two of his closest friends.

Jingyi bows back, but looks at Zizhen uncertain. That hadn't sounded quite right. Why were they being so formal?

[notaturnip]

With Yuan's attention so focused on Jin Ling, it's easy to spot where his gaze drifts, to see the flash of disappointment when he looks away, and he suddenly feels a rush of guilt and relf-recrimination for not listening to his brother - he should have put the ring back on, he's an idiot. His hand strays to his chest, where it sits beneath his robes, and he opens his mouth to try and find the words to explain -

But what if he's wrong? What if he misread that look? What if- Jin Ling is already speaking, impersonal and matter-of-fact, and every syllable feels like a knife.

He bows, hoping he can use the move to try and marshal his stricken expression into something more appropriate.

"Liquor is fine, thank you." he answers softly. He needs a drink, now, and they're not in Cloud Recesses...

Zizhen gives Jingyi a distraught look - this isn't how it's supposed to go! They're supposed to... to fall into each other's arms, or even yell until one of them says something that reveals their true feelings, not this careful politeness!

[young_mistress]

He'd been looking so forward to this and suddenly he feels like he's back in the hall in front of all the cultivators. He has to be the host again and careful of whatever he says and does. If he shows weakness now.. he just couldn't. It wasn't fair to Yuan to push expectations on him that he never asked for in the first place. He has a new life- a new family- a world that's left Jin Ling behind. The message was clear given how much that ring had meant to them.. wasn't it?

He has to calculate the risk of appearing physically weak if he got up to get the other glasses or if it would be worse to request they be brought to him like he's some old man. Perhaps he should stop drinking to keep a clearer head. He wasn't free to be himself any longer and maybe he never will be.

He sniffs arrogantly and gestures to Zizhen. "Fetch them the glasses." He can mask his weakness with bravado like he always does. He hates that this inadvertently treats his only friend like a servant, but he doesn't know what else to do.

Jingyi's jaw drops and he bristles. "What's wrong with your legs?" He snaps.

Jin Ling's gaze jerks from Zizhen to Jingyi like he'd just been sucker punched. The hurt is quickly pushed aside by anger and he glares at the Lan. "Lan-gongzi, I advise you not to speak so disrespectfully to me. You're in my sect and being served my liquor."

[notaturnip]

Zizhen, of course, has more than enough experience with Jin Ling's wounded animal routine to understand why he's being so snappy - he debates calling him out on it or just letting him get away with it (for now) but before he can make a decision Jingyi is leaping to his defence and he winces.

He appreciates it, he does, his A-Yi is righteous and fierce and loyal, but... well, he can also act without thinking, and say things that are... more hurtful than even he realises.

"Jingyi..." he says softly, standing quickly so he can step towards the other boy. He doesn't get a chance to try and smooth things over before Jin Ling snaps back and he needs to cut this off quickly because these two can really go at it when they get started...

Yuan takes a step back, unable to keep the pain and guilt from his face. This is his fault. More people arguing because of him - good friends who care about each other.

He, of course, has not known the two of them as long as Zizhen, hasn't actually seen the way they bicker - or worse - so easily, all he sees is people driven to conflict that wouldn't be if he wasn't there.

"I should- I never should have-" he starts "I'm sorry I didn't-"

He takes another step back, almost ready to bolt.

[young_mistress]

Jin Ling would've apologized once the other two were gone. He hates to treat his friend poorly, especially after how supportive he'd been with his condition. He just.. he didn't know how else to save face. Of course, that was now far from his mind as he is faced with Jingyi picking the worst moment to get defensive- and worst retort.

Ling's focus shifts to Yuan the moment he looks distraught. Oh no! No! That's not at all what he wanted! He has to stop him before.. no! He's threatening to leave!

"Yuan-!" He gasps, a bit too quietly. It's painful, but he scrambles to his feet. It isn't nearly as swift or as smooth as the motion should be, but all Jin Ling sees is the back of white robes and dark hair leaving him again. He tries to take a step forward, but one of his legs buckle. Cursing, he tries to grab for his cane, but it's still leaning against the table where he left it.

The 'great' Jin Ling, after all his effort today, lands on his hands and knees ungracefully in front of his friends.

Jingyi stares, realizing now just how unfair his comment had been. He feels a wave of guilt, but he's also feeling even worse about making Yuan so uncomfortable. He puts his hand over his mouth and watches in disbelief.

[notaturnip]

Yuan thinks he hears Jin Ling calling after him, but maybe it's just his mind playing tricks, making him hear what he wants to hear. He doesn't stop, he just runs, taking each turn as he finds it and getting hopelessly lost but barely wanting to pause to slow down. It's not until he hears a bark that makes him stumble that he forces himself to stop, unsure what courtyard or garden he's found himself in, no idea how to get back where he came from.

There's a pagoda here, and he flops down inside it, the short walls high enough to obscure him from anybody who might pass. The reason for the bark is quickly obvious as Fairy appears in front of him, and he reaches out to curl his arms around the dog, burying his face in her fur to muffle the sobs he can't stop from coming. He feels like he's ruined everything.

Back in Jin Ling's rooms, Zizhen has already darted towards his friend, but flopping down beside him and not making a big deal isn't going to help this time. Instead, he thinks quickly, thrusts his hand out towards Jin Ling. He's going to have to accept the help, there's more important things at stake.

"You have to go after him." he's not going to say anything about the fall, not even going to draw Jingyi's attention to it (it's not like he could miss it), instead he wants to distract Jin Ling from wallowing in shame and self-pity by pushing him into action, even if that might seem callous.

[young_mistress]

It takes a moment before Jin Ling's equilibrium catches up with him. He is glad these robes are thick, since it'll prevent him from having skinned knees on top of everything else. Nothing was going to spare his pride though. Perhaps surprisingly, he reaches out to take Zizhen's hand when it's offered.

"I was trying!" He grumbles at the push. He scowls and looks at Jingyi. "Why'd you have to go and make a big deal about that?"

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry, Ling! B- but you're going after him, right? I should if you do-"

"You've done enough!" He snaps and once he's on his feet, he turns and snatches the scepter- which Jingyi now realizes is a cane- and starts toward the door.

Jingyi looks at Zizhen guiltily. "I didn't mean to.. I'm sorry.. I messed this whole thing up!"

Outside, Jin Ling looks around before whistling. He listens for Fairy, but doesn't wait. He hurries as quick as he can further into the gardens. There were so many directions he could've gone though.. this could be hopeless!

Fairy's eyes perk up, but she stays right where she is while Yuan cries. At least, for now.